Not Perfect
Grandma: [To The Lady, about me] "You know, he's not perfect."
The Lady: "I know."
Grandma: "He's lactose intolerant."
‘POOP NECTAR EYE RAPE FART’
Wall graffiti at the Late Mars Bar
East Village, NYC
This was always my favorite piece of graffiti on the walls at Mars Bar.
The ‘FART’ was added a little after the fact.
Made sure to snap this picture just before the bar closed. Tried to convince The Lady that a blown-up version of this shot would make a great “statement piece” above the living room sofa. I thought the fact that she called me “poop nectar” — as a term of endearment — for the better part of a year after I pointed the above out to her for the first time might get her to bend, ya know, for sentimentality. Alas, no dice.
Fittingly, there’s not much else you can say after this week’s news of a TD Bank branch opening in the bar’s former place, right?
Scene from New York, I Love You - “Old Couple”
“Mr. I’m-so-independent-I-don’t-need-any-help-opening-the-pickle-jar…”
Love.
I’m sorry I pushed you into oncoming traffic.
…she said.
My girlfriend is a very patient woman.
Beyonce sure went from ‘Miss Independent’ to ‘Put a ring on it’ rather quickly. That’s quite the 180…
The Lady
Nutbox
Precisely where The Lady said I could keep mine “if I didn’t shave that fuckin’ mustache…”
“Siri, am I a MILF?” The second Siri parody I did. Also check out the first one— “Siri, am I a narcissist?”.
Written with @arjunbasu @rachyfabs @kristicasey @kathy_L @meetingboy @flyoverjoel @ripslich
Voices include @rachyfabs @kristicasey @kathy_L @meetingboy @flyoverjoel @ripslich, Gary Ricke, @Miss_Cook, @AnjeanetteC, @KickAssJenn, @ha_ti .
Music by @ripslich.
When The Lady got her new iPhone 4S recently, she asked Siri (jokingly!!!) “Should I dump my boyfriend?”
Siri responded with directions to three local garbage dumps.
Bitch. (Siri, not The Lady).
