les pensées insouciantes

Hilarious — and likely spot-on — advice for anyone attending either of the upcoming conventions.

This outing with the boys in the steamy tropical night of a late August in Tampa sounded so good on the front end. But this is where it gets sporty.

See, the minute you got out of the car, some folks in a van parked across the street got you on video.

Who cares who they work for? The media? BuzzFeed, prepping for a piece called, “18 GOP Well-Fed GOP Delegates Walking Into Seedy Strip Clubs?” The DNC? Talking Points Memo? MMFA? Some Democratic SuperPAC? OFA? It doesn’t matter. Hell, for all you know George Soros is sitting in the back wearing a mumu, muttering commands to them and smelling of Ben Gay and borscht.

But count on it. They will be there. We live in the era of the tracker, and the ultimate gotcha is guys, getting in trouble because millions of years of evolution coupled with our bad judgment about inappropriate women led you to this.

So yeah, they’re watching for guys in rental cars wearing RNC lanyards. They’re playing Spot-The-Delegate and every single face on that video is going to be peered at long and hard. And in the age of Facebook, Google Image Search and good old detective work, they’ll know who you are soon enough.

And inside? Whether it’s from the club making a deal with the same people (a known fact of Tampa strip club history) and providing their video feed, or just an enterprising Democratic intern on the Best Job Ever filming you with his tiny GoPro or phone camera, you and your friends will get captured in mid-lapdance. You will remember the fun differently the next morning.

Why? Because the next morning, as you reach for your vibrating phone on the nightstand, the hangover grinding through your head and your guts, it takes a moment to focus. You swing your feet to the floor, staring at the text message from your wife.

“Call me. You’re on YouTube.”

The U.S. House of Representatives this week passed a variety of measures intended to make it easier for small businesses to raise money. The most notable of the bills, which have had wide bipartisan support, would create an SEC exemption for crowdfunding.

The crowdfunding bill, called the Entrepreneur Access to Capital Act, would allow companies to give out equity stakes in exchange for investments of up to $2 million.

The stakes wouldn’t count against the SEC’s famous 500-shareholder rule. And individual investors would be capped at putting in $10,000 or 10 percent of their annual income.

This is very exciting.

The bill, sponsored by Rep. Patrick McHenry [R-NC10], passed 407-17, with 9 not voting.

You can view the bill here.

Just For Reference™, the 17 Naye votes, all Democrats, were:

Georgia:

GA-5  Lewis, John [D]

Illinois:

IL-9  Schakowsky, Janice [D]

Maryland:

MD-4 Edwards, Donna [D]

MD-7 Cummings, Elijah [D]

Massachusetts:

MA-1 Olver, John [D]

MA-6 Tierney, John [D]

MA-7 Markey, Edward [D]

MA-8 Capuano, Michael [D]

MA-9 Lynch, Stephen [D]

Michigan:

MI-5 Kildee, Dale [D]

MI-15 Dingell, John [D]

New York:

NY-5 Ackerman, Gary [D]

North Carolina:

NC-1 Butterfield, George [D]

NC-4 Price, David [D]

NC-12 Watt, Melvin [D]

NC-13 Miller, R. [D]

Ohio:

OH-10 Kucinich, Dennis [D]

The bill now has to pass the Senate before being signed into law.

(Source: allthingsd.com)