September 2011
13 posts
What if I told you in early August that…
…Cam Newton would throw for more yards in his first two NFL games than anybody who has ever played the game? Newton has 422 and 432 yards passing in his two starts, and the theory was that the lack of the NFL’s offseason was really going to hinder his development as a quarterback. Was it really just the other day that Newton was in a legitimate competition with Jimmy Clausen for the Carolina starting job?
For comparison’s sake, Johnny Unitas threw for 400-plus yards exactly once in his 18-year NFL career, the same as Fran Tarkenton, Len Dawson and Otto Graham. Bart Starr, Roger Staubach, Bob Griese and Troy Aikman — just to name four more Hall of Fame QBs — never reached the 400-yard plateau. Brett Favre, Jim Kelly and John Elway played a combined 47 seasons in the NFL, and they all had two career 400-yard games — which Newton has matched in two weeks.
Chris Robinson - 40 Days [iTunes link]
Speaking of hilarious old people…
This one comes courtesy of my best friend’s Grandmother (may she rest in peace).
His mother had gone down to visit her in Florida. They went out to dinner one night. His mother ordered a glass of white wine. The following exchange ensued:
Grandmother: “Let me try a sip of your wine.”
Mother: “You won’t like it. It’s a little dry.”
Grandmother: “Don’t worry. I’ll add a Sweet’N Low.”
Generations probably spent perfecting that vintage.
The vintner must have rolled in his grave.
I’ve always wanted to send this one on to Neil Simon. I think he could craft an entire character around this line, if not an entire play.
We went to visit my Grandmother last weekend. The following exchange ensued:
Grandma: “I’ve got a beautiful dining room table for you. It seats 14. It was very expensive.”
Grandma’s Boyfriend: “Didn’t you hear what they said? They’re moving into a small apartment.”
Grandma: “Ahhh…What do you know?”
Grandma’s Boyfriend: “They don’t want it! It won’t fit!”
Grandma: “They’ll be sorry…”
And The Lady and I decided that we CAN’T WAIT to grow old together.
Nessa Morgan - It’s My Rite [iTunes link]
With a nice, familiar riff…
Pearl Jam - Olé
Reminds me of Oasis’ The Meaning of Soul with a little more balls.
President Obama on “Obamacare.” (via kileyrae)
Jesus Christ, Tumblr. 2,000+ notes for that?
President Ned Flanders, everyone:
Well, tippety-top of the A.M. to every-good-body here. As chairman of the PTA, I am de-diddley-lighted to take over here and I think I can put the “pal” back in “principal!”
